Portal to the Future

     "I hadn't thought about it in a long time and then this morning while sitting on a rock deep in the woods it all came flooding back to me........"

I'm wondering if this is a good beginning?  Will it hold the reader?  Does it hold me?

     "I was with Maggie then and she played a big part in my first steps to get here. I bumped into her in art class and said I was sorry, and she said, "anytime", very casually. 

     It caught me off guard and I just looked at her, quizzically and for a long time. I now know that her face was a portal to the future and that I was mesmerized by it.

     I realized I had to talk to her, I had to get to know her and so invited her to have a tea with me at the break and we did. That night we slept together and we went on for a month straight before I went back to my apartment. The days were filled with  New York City and doing things on the spur of the moment like taking the shuttle flight to Boston, the nights were art school.

     I left because her fiancé was coming back to town. I never knew, but the news didn't surprise me either.  Maggie had intentions, had a plan, knew what she wanted, I just happened to have been there and she used me.  I was OK with the news of her fiancé, I was relieved, this was 1971 and I just gotten my wings.

     Everything always came back to 'the dream'.  I had had 'the dream' shortly before she informed me of her fiance so I was anxious to be moving on myself.

     The first night I feel asleep with Maggie next to me I dreamed I was flying, and every night after for a month. I had beings come to me to help me to fly and make beautiful movements in the air. I practiced hard the art of landing and found that it had more to do with attitude that altitude. That to land properly I had to visualize my landing and once on the ground I had to walk like I had been walking and not flying.

     I started to become lucid during dreaming, so that I knew that I was asleep and dreaming. It was like being allowed through a portal, a delicate understanding that at any moment it could be taken away.

     I understood that I had to hold onto that portal and the dream in order to fly. I had to have the confidence that I could do this in order to fly. If at anytime I had doubt, lost my faith I came crashing down.

     Wow, I thought, isn't that just like life!

     The next to last day with Maggie I awoke to a summer morning in the city. It was only unusual because of the clear crisp air, that somehow seemed pure. Maggie usually slept later than I, so I did one of my usual routines of going to the bakery for breakfast for us. I took a short cut through the alley around back of her apartment and I was going over in my head the dreams I had the night before.

     I was flying down the boulevard just over peoples heads, I didn't seem to care if anyone saw me, I was just flying and observing. I took note of the fact that no one else was flying. I eventually began to fly down the same alley that I was presently walking into from the other direction. In the dream I saw off on the other side of the alley a figure, a dark figure. Unlike the other people in this dream who had form and color this figure was just a silhouette. As I approached I knew that this figure shouldn't see me flying so I prepared for a nice landing where I would go right into a natural walk. I did exactly that as I approached this figure and then I woke up.

     So here I was walking down the very same alley where just minutes before I had been dreaming. Then it came to me. The silhouette was me, coming down the alley just as I was now. I went into a lucid dream state, not knowing reality or what it was anymore. I held onto this lucid dream, I walked and held the dream and all at once realized that I could fly here, now, just like in a dream.

     I lifted off and gently glided through my steps, although just barely off the ground I could feel the lightness and the confidence that it takes to fly, or do anything. But doubt came into my thought and all at once I felt the weight of gravity, the weight of my doubt brought me down, and my first thought was that I felt foolish because I felt that people were watching me......chances were that someone in one of the many apartments had caught a glimpse of me.

     I knew that I had a moment, a tiny moment where I was in flight and although it was most likely in my mind that is all that I needed. Because I felt the lightness and most importantly I felt the confidence in my ability. This has led me down a road of thought, wonder and mysticism."

I didn't know where else to start except in the beginning.........and it did all begin with that dream.

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